Sydney came to Keystone House with a heart full of anger and regrets. He felt he had made bad choices in life and that terrible things had happened to him as a result. Sydney believed he had never accomplished anything of value and desperately wanted to do something valuable before he died. Like many individuals living with a terminal illness, Sydney was searching for meaning. He wanted to redeem his life by “making a difference in the lives of others,” especially others suffering from AIDS and addictions.

Sydney shared his dream of documenting a song that had “come to him” during his last hospitalization with Keystone’s Music Therapist Laura Thomae.

“I was bound, hurting, and I couldn’t move because of all the tubes in my body. The tubes were chains that bound me and I was a slave to sickness. This song came to me and I want to finish it before I go so it can be an inspiration to others.”

But, Sydney didn’t believe he could achieve his dream. Week after week, he declined to work with Laura because he was afraid, “I won’t be able to make it as good as I hear it in my head.”

Keystone’s Dance/Movement Therapy Intern reached out to Sydney daily, offering help and listening to his stories. He gradually became more trusting. In Keystone’s supportive environment, he realized it was OK to be himself. One day, Sydney decided he was ready to return to the song and worked for weeks with Laura to write the verses and choose the music to fit “how he heard the song in his head.”

The process of songwriting became a means for grieving the past and achieving self-acceptance and peace. Sydney created his heart song and the process was transformational. In the beginning, he wasn’t able to sing or move expressively. Hunched over, his head hanging, his long arms rigid, Sydney gasped for air. As he revisited the song time and time again, however, Sydney allowed his movement to tell his story: his rigidity loosened, his back lifted, and he began to breathe more deeply. After months of support, Sydney’s song was fully composed and choreographed. His powerful, simple lyrics vibrated through his being, giving way to expressive movement.

Sydney agreed to debut his song at Keystone House’s Easter Sunday service. He sat beside Laura, too shy to perform himself, but whispering instructions as to how the song should be performed. As the final note resounded, Sydney beamed with pride noticing how everyone in the audience was moved by his song’s spirit. After achieving this goal, Sydney had a new focus – to publish and record the song. “I want to get it out there so everyone can hear it, so it can be a source of strength for everyone who feels like they can’t go on.” In a final recording session, Sydney shared that he was “overwhelmed and mesmerized by what I have created. I couldn’t have done it without your help, all of you.” He expressed gratitude to Laura who worked with him to complete the song and find the right melody, the Dance/Movement Therapy Intern who helped him express his words in movement, the Music Therapy Intern who played the keyboard, and the nurse and chaplain who sang in the chorus.

When Sydney lay dying, staff members gathered at his bedside and softly sang words from the song. As they sang the words, a visitor in another room came out into the hall because she said she “heard angels singing.” Perhaps they were…